Friday, April 1, 2011

My sport does not define me as a Mother

Monday:70 minutes (9-10 miles)
Tuesday:AM:40 minrun, PM: 40 min w/ 10-11X1min at 5:15-5:19 pace
Wednesday:46 minute run, 45 min bike (35 min of 2 min hard, 30-60sec easy)
Thursday: 60 min spin with 6x5min hard, 8 min of sprints
Friday: 50 min spin, 30 min run

My achilles is still bothering me so I have been very careful and taken a few days off. I had planned on running 10X800m at 5:45 pace on Wednesday (Tuesday was suppose to be 15-2- X 60 seconds) but that didn't happen (obviously). The achilles is not terrible- but it could easily get that way if I dont take it easy. Today I had planned to take the day off, but I was itching to run so bad- I went for 30 minutes during my lunch break. I felt fine but I could feel the tightness in my quads from biking like crazy the past 3 days.

I have had a hard week and am really looking forward to this long run tomorrow. We have a high school meet this saturday so my phone has been beeping like crazy everyday (for those of you that don't know, I am a weekend coach). I don't mind until it gets excessive, I'm going out of town next week until Thursday and I've got alot to do between now and then- clean house, work two track meets, and a get ready for my trip. Truly the only thing I want to do is spend time with Maddy, everything else is just going to have to wait.

I don't know if it was the lack of running- or my husband telling me I had to be ran, showered, pumped, and ready to go (all day) by 9am Saturday, but I almost lost it. We had a student projects was going on today "Smash Out Cancer", where you hit a car with a sledge hammer for $2, I wanted to drop everything and just go out there and let it out.

I went to the track instead.

Ever since I posted my Germantown pictures last week, people have been complementing on my running and my weight loss since being pregnant. Yes, I know I have bounced back very quickly, but the more I think about it, the more unimpressed I am with it. Truly, the reason I have lost so much is because I have not been taking care of myself- I constantly miss meals and shovel sandwiches down my throat in record time. I have not made a nice dinner in months and I have no idea how Houston puts up with it. Weight loss is not hard when you barely eat and are attempting marathon training- not to mention the fact that I am still breast feeding a little. But looking good and running good are not great indicators of how successful I have been at being a mother, if anything they may show that I have been neglectful (I haven't). And that is why I am not too proud of either. Quite honestly, running has traveled so far down my list of priorities that I barely think about it after 6:05AM in the morning (I usually finish my run about that time). First off I am a Mother, a Wife, I work, and then- a I run.

I used to look at people like Kara Goucher and be inspired- so fast- wish I was that fast. But reading her blog, I see that there really is not much different between us. She is faster, it is her job to be fast- not mine. Nowhere in my job description does it say that I need to maintain 70+ miles a week (Kara regularly logs 120 miles per week) and run sun 3:00 for the marathon. My true real-life job is so much more important than running. Running is merely a hobby, something I must do to keep going.

Watching the trackmeets this weekend I can remember how stressed out I felt running in college. How I felt like it was everything- it all came down to how fast I could run 7.5 laps and jump over the barriers. Holding Maddy while watching a couple of the races, I suddenly felt out of place. It was getting dark and cold and I had other things to do, my daughter needed to be changed and fed- I didn't care how these races ended up turning out.

I left early.

I know that I will run until I can't do it anymore, and I am truly blessed to have had all the experiences I have had through running- but running is not everything- it does not define me as a person- it does not define me as a mother.

Running is not who I am, it is merely something I do.


Renee said...

the last comment says it all. through all my injuries i have really understood that and taken that to heart. loved the post meggan. take care of yourself :) you're such an inspiration in all ways.

Allan Fotheringham said...

A great personal post, watch your achilles injury, you will be running better than ever soon when you are balanced with your new lifestyle. When you are running well in a full time job/family life, I feel you are accomplishing more than any professional runner would ever do. Keep motivated. :-). Allan

Don said...

Wow. Powerful blog. Really puts things in perspective.

Genesis said...

i like how you put it all in perspective especially the fact that Kara Goucher does get paid to run, whereas us normal people do it for a hobby. I always find myself comparing my runs to others and i catch myself and try to remember that this is supposed to be a hobby not who i am. i dont want training to be my entire life.

great post.

Haley said...

This is probably the best post ever.
So genuine.
And I agree. Sometimes I, along with many others I'm sure, get caught up in the mileage, the amount of rest in a workout, 'race weight', and tons of other stuff which really doesn't even matter all that much.
Especially after having such a beautiful daughter and a supporting husband like you do, it's no surprise that you have found that running isn't your number one priority in life.
I've found that out, too. But I don't have something as special as a baby girl to constantly remind me of this. Sometimes I forget that it's just a sport. Food is just fuel. Weight is just a number.
Thanks for this post. It was a great reminder of the important things in life :)

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